BlushSpirals

I can hardly concentrate right now. I’m on a break from my training course and my mind keeps wandering back to how much I miss my baby girl. The love you have for your child is so different from any other kind of love I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been that person who said “I love you” in romantic relationships without truly understanding what it meant. And I can honestly say that until I had my daughter, I didn’t fully understand what love really was.

I used to think love was a feeling you get. A yearning. A desire. Something emotional that sweeps over you.

But becoming a mother taught me something different. Love isn’t just a feeling. Love is an action. It’s something you choose. It requires self-sacrifice and the willingness to do what’s healthy for the relationship even when it isn’t easy.

It makes me wonder if in today’s world we’ve lost sight of that definition. Relationships seem so quick to end the moment happiness fades instead of people waiting it out, growing through it, and changing together.

I look at my parents’ marriage. It wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but over time it evolved into something incredibly beautiful. They went through very hard seasons—moments that could have torn them apart—but they worked through them.

I see the same thing with my brother’s marriage. There are struggles I’m sure I’ll never fully know about, but those experiences helped build the strength and solidarity they have today.

Sometimes I think we as humans can be selfish when it comes to love. If a relationship stops making us happy, we leave instead of trying to understand what the struggle might be teaching us.

I know this because I’ve been guilty of it myself.

My uncle once told me that I “wear men like accessories.” At the time it sounded harsh, but there was truth in it. If someone bored me or didn’t make me happy anymore, I would move on and try something new.

Looking back, I can see how shallow that mindset was.

That realization is part of the reason I’ve stepped away from dating for the past two years. I needed time to grow. Time to learn what it means to truly value and appreciate another person instead of treating relationships like something disposable.

When I do find love again, I want it to be something I’m willing to fight for. Something I don’t walk away from the moment things get difficult. Something worth sacrificing for.

Not because either of us is perfect, but because we both understand that we’re flawed and still choose to walk through life together anyway.

I’ve looked back on past relationships and realized how many opportunities I may have overlooked because I was chasing a checklist instead of something real.

So much of what we chase is superficial. Impulsive. Detached from the qualities that actually sustain a long-lasting partnership.

These days my priorities have shifted—especially after becoming a mother.

I’m not looking for Prince Charming anymore. I’m looking for a life partner.

Someone real. Someone imperfect. Someone willing to grow through life together.

My days of chasing something artificial are behind me.

Now I’m looking for something that actually matters—something strong enough to last, not something fragile that breaks the moment life becomes difficult.